Review: The Land Of Stories

All who know me will know that I awaited the release of The Land Of Stories with what you could say... 'bias', meaning that I'm a huge fan of Chris Colfer and would probably have loved it if it was the phone book with a fancy cover. Chris Colfer is incredibly talented, and as an avid Glee fanatic I've been emotional invested in his 'Cinderella Story' and the not so Cinderella story of his character Kurt Hummel. You could even call us kindred spirits, since we were both the heads of failed writer's groups in highschool (yay!)

Of course he hasn't been sitting on his backside after getting a cushy role on 'Glee', as of now he's a Golden Globe winner, two time emmy nominee and the writer and lead of his new movie 'Struck By Lightning'. All this was naturally done while writing The Land Of Stories between sets on the national sell out 'Glee Live' concert tour. With all this on his plate many would pass this off as just another actor who thinks he can write, but as someone whose had a passion for writing since boyhood, this first novel will not disappoint.

The Land of Stories follows twin siblings, Alex and Connor, as they are sucked - Narnia style, into a family heirloom, a novel called The Land Of Stories. The book plummets the pair into a world of fairytales, where Classic fairytale characters are living out their surprisingly troubled post-happily ever after lives. To get home Alex and Connor are forced into the greatest scavenger hunt of their lives - gathering familiar fairy tale relics to form the wishing spell. Its a path home littered with danger and familiar characters with untold stories.

The story itself makes the (thankfully not stone) heart of my inner child beat wildly, and sparks my love of the classic stories, the way I'm sure Colfer intended. It's imaginative, homourous and as witty and its author, targeted towards children but appealing to a range of ages. Given Colfer's fame and how 'hot' fairy tales are recently (see: 'Snow White and The Huntsmen', 'Grimm' or 'Once Upon A Time) this debut was bound for success, and success it has had in its cushy position as The New York Times #1 bestseller these last two weeks. There are let downs in the form of cliches and minor repetitive sequences, but there are made up for in character, inventiveness and one liners. Colfer has delivered a truly page turning read rather than the standard 'failed actor-writer' kiss of doom some people experience. Personally I can't WAIT for the next two parts of this trilogy.

Rating: 4.5/5

Book Recommendation: The Looking Glass Wars

Right now the world is entering an era of fairy tales, with classic tales hitting one of the highest points they've ever reached in recent years. Between 'Once Upon A Time', 'Snow White and the Huntsmen', 'Grimm' and the re-release of a whole host of classic Disney films, you can't walk into a movie theatre or turn on your television without seeing a beloved Fairy Tale. The Looking Glass Wars is no exception. 

'The Looking Glass Wars' is a darker and more adult re-telling of the of Lewis Caroll's Alice In Wonderland. The Author Frank Beddor explores the idea that 'Alice In Wonderland', detailing the life of Alice Liddle, is not an accurate recount, but a distorted and interpretation of an oral history. 'The Looking Glass Wars' is the true story of Alyss and Wonderland.

The story follows Alyss Hart, princess to the Throne of Wonderland - as she witnesses the death of her parents by the hand of her Aunt Redd and Redd's assassin - a man known as The Cat. Saved by royal bodyguard Hatter Madigan, the pair are thrust into our England and separated. A race begins as Hatter and The Cat race to find the princess first, one looking to rescue her and the other looking to finish the job.

The series is a thrilling and clever fantasy trilogy which takes everything you know about Lewis Caroll's Wonderland and twists it on it's head.

The Books: The Looking Glass Wars, Seeing Redd, Arch Enemy

Find out more: http://www.lookingglasswars.com

Exams: hate to hate them

For some the word ‘exam’ is the difference between a diploma and the unemployment line. For others it’s the difference between a dream job and a checkout counter, or perhaps it means a dreaded (and probably embarrassing) trip to a hospital or doctor’s clinic. For second year University students it might mean blogging about exams the night before you have one because you want to avoid the blasted things for just a little longer, but maybe that's just me.

Whatever the word means to you, most humane and rational beings despise exams (unless they go by the name Hermione Granger - and even then the bushy haired super witch gets stressed about them too on occasion). I’m sure you’ve been there at some point, your eyes and back aching as you strain over textbooks, or your blood pressure rising as you prepare for your fate in a waiting room. Then as you sit there, the words flying in and out of your ears like little butterflies – you silently (or loudly depending on the kind of person you are) plea for it all to be over. In my case I frequently visualize exams as a great big punching bag I can pound into. Every time I study I’m jabbing it in, pounding it into the ground on the day of the exam, until hopefully a nice big pass mark shows up and the bag is nothing but dust.

Of course the lucky Americans are on summer holidays right now, basking in their beautiful freedom from study. Here in the future land of reality however (New Zealand), winter is here and I’ll be spending tomorrow and the 21^st attempting to rip my punching bag to shreds – wish me luck!

P.S - all non-citizens of future land should note that flying cars have still not been invented, and the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to those who do not wish to suffer a painful death.

Doctor Who: 5 reasons to watch and a theory

5 Reasons to watch Doctor Who

After almost 50 years generations of people have found something fascinating about the sonic-ing Doctor and his wobbly, timey wimey adventures. Whether they hopped aboard the Tardis in the 60s, 2005 or yesterday, the madman with a box has his appeal, but why?

1. Always fresh but always the same
With the ingenious idea of 'Regeneration' the Doctor can completely rewrite his biology, essentially thwarting death and giving himself a completely different body and face. Upon regenerating a whole new actor can take up the mantle of the Doctor while technically still playing the same character. With 11 personalities to discover, a galaxy of alien species', and a host of companions, you'll never be at a loss for something fresh. The core story however, of a lonely alien man looking to heal and find peace, is always there. It’s comfortingly familiar, but spontaneous and different at the same time.

2. Something to interest all
With some of the most witty, creative and outlandish writing ever to hit television screens, Doctor Who combines and interweaves genres better than most. Ranging from Romantic, Comedic, Innocent, and Fun to Dramatic, Intellectual, Tragic, Sad and Dark there are times when the show can have you laughing and crying in the space of 2-3 (literally) all without a single trip in the Tardis.

3. The acting
A character like the Doctor is layered in complexity and needs actors that can fulfil that versatility and range. From talent to talent each Doctor has met the bar and raised it, each catching the heart of different fans. With strong introductions (such as the 11th Doctor's opening speech to the Atraxi) or heart breaking goodbyes ("I don't want to go") the ability the actors have to twist language and tug at your heart strings will have you hooked.

4. Creativity
While the show can be grounded in reality, morality and the bitter/beautiful truths of our world and those beyond, it is for creative and adventurous minds as well. Only on Doctor Who can you find fish fingers and custard or horses on a spaceship.

5. Intellectually stimulating
As popular as it is with kids who enjoy following the adventures and humour, even the mature and sharpest of minds can love it. With an in-depth canon, scientific/grand monologues and concepts that fit together like a puzzle piece, this show won't spell it out for you. Ideas that span over entire seasons will come together, sometimes only an expression of realization or one line of dialogue. For History buffs several historical figures appear, in episodes celebrating the brilliance of their lives, along with in-jokes the historically minded will notice.

So - one show, all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will, where would you like to start?

A series finale theory

With the show at it's strongest and a 50th Anniversary is on its way it's hard to imagine Doctor Who leaving our screens any time soon. However like all good things it must one day come to an end, and I have an idea of what may happen when it does.

During 'The Wedding Of River Song' two of Doctor Who's biggest constants reappeared, with a subtle Dalek cameo and the biggest question of the show - Doctor WHO being explored. The Time War between the Daleks and the Timelords, as well as that ultimate question, was the beginning of it all. According to Dorium 'Doctor Who?' is the first question, what if it is the last as well?

It was made clear during Tennant's era that The Master suffered from a never ending drumbeat that plagued his mind, a beat that was planted in his head and was ultimately used by the banished Time Lords to try and escape. Could the answer to the question, The Doctor's name, be a weapon in itself? In 'A Good Man Goes  To War' Lorna reveals that 'Doctor' means 'great warrior' in the language of her people, and the Doctor is sometimes referred to as the 'Destroyer of Worlds' by multiple people/races. Think back to the beginning of the Narnia series; 'The Magician's Nephew' where the White Witch held a word in her mind with the power to destroy whole worlds, perhaps the Doctor's name holds a similar power, and the 'Destroyer of Worlds' title is much more than just a misnomer. I believe in the final episode of Doctor Who to ever bless our screens, the final confrontation between The Doctor and the Daleks will occur, and when his name is spoken it will somehow mean the end of the Daleks, The waiting Time Lords and the Doctor himself. Essentially, the final episode will end the Time War once and for all and both of the tired races will find their rest.

and finally... I recorded a version of the Pandorica speech just for funsies :)

My feelings on Team Starkid's Apocalyptour - a song parody

Look at their stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think their collections complete? Wouldn't you think their the crew, the crew that has everything?

They've got heroes and candy aplenty,
They've got tour stops and melodies galore,
Want a parody for your movie? They'll write four
but who cares? no big deal, I want more.

I want to be where you people are,
I wanna see, wanna see you rocking
travelling around on that, what do you call it again?
Apocalyptour.

Up where its on,
Up in the sun
Up where the fans all cheer and have fun,
wandering free, wish I could be,
part of your tour.

What would I pay?
To spend the day out in LA
What would I pay
To spend the night out at your show
But I hope that they understand that I don't
have the money for tickets.
I'm so sick of sitting, and being stuck in
little NZ

Not wandering free,
wish you will have
fun on your tour

- Part Of Your World Parody (To Starkid)

By Simone/StarkidSims

Sweet Tooth's message to the On-line populace

Hello Internet!

As you've no doubt noticed I've taken the liberty of spicing up this corner of webspace with my own personal touch of sugar coated mayhem. See now a ragtag group of oddfellows going by the name of 'Starkid' have seen fit to release a video presenting me as quite the dud. I was even foiled by that overgrown Bat and his little friend Skybar (or something like that). The point is you have been FOOLED.

Let me make one thing clear, the only foiling that will happen wll be the undoing of Batman, the boy wonder or a sucker. On no account should you see this toxic waste of a show, unless you're revelling in the glorious bit-o-honey that is my actor Jeff Blim. Otherwise boycott this 'Holy Musical Batman' piece my Musketeers, along with their little 'Starkid Potter' channel. After all, they cleaned me out of my fucking candy!

Gotta 'split',

Sweet Tooth

[please note: this piece is reverse psychology and I adore the show :)]

My favourite Myths/Legends/Historical events

The Titanic

As human beings we feel fear and/or fascination in the name the unknown, and quite frankly when it comes to space and the ocean's floor my fear often outweighs my curiosity. There is, however, something about the horrifying disaster that was the sinking of the RMS Titanic that strikes me. The thought of the once illustrious marvel of a ship (now a grand crypt) lying at the bottom of the Atlantic along with it's treasures makes me feel awe just as much as it sends shivers down my spine.

The Trojan War

Helen Of Troy: the famous face said to have launched a thousand ships; the world's most poignant beauty conquest, a wooden horse, a divine spat and a war that could have resulted in the foundation of the Rome, this was the Trojan War. Arguably the most well known and discussed war in ancient times, the myth (or is it???) has been given some credibility through the discovery of the site of Troy. Unfortunately more than one city of Troy was built on the site (8 in total) and we have only guess work, assumptions and faith to tell us which of the Troy's the famous Troy was and whether such a war actually took place in history.

Nessie: 'The Loch Ness Monster'

Ahhhh Nessie... Scotland's beloved mythical sea creature and one of the most highly debated modern myths in existence. 'The Loch Ness Monster', affectionately dubbed 'Nessie' has been said to be a surviving Plesiosaur and is the subject of a multitude of sightings and scams. The long necked loch dweller is also the star of TV shows, movies and expeditions made by those that believe in Nessie or want to profit from the myth. Today the myth still catches the eye of tourists and it is among my favourites.